After reading the article, I found that many of the sign have or do apply to me. There were a few signs that, although I found very surprising to be on the list, actually make quite a bit of sense. Procrastinating is the first sign that comes to mind. I have been a chronic procrastinator throughout my life, especially when it comes to big projects and papers. A lot of it comes from simply not having the perfect topic or the perfect thesis and not being happy with whatever work I had already done for it. This would lead to me putting it off until I had no choice but to complete it, satisfied or not. Something that I have found that tends to help with this is just getting words down. For someone that wants every sentence to be perfect, it can be challenging to do this, but it helps a lot with procrastination and gets me to do a much more thorough revision of my work.
Carolyn did claim to have simple solutions to start letting go, but her only real suggestion was to "be authentic" and let yourself be seen for who you are. Unfortunately, I would imagine that for most perfectionists, especially those who are my age, this is who they are, so that advice doesn't help too much. To her credit, she does link to another article that goes more in-depth explaining how to be "more authentic."
The second article I read was 5 Tips For Taking Feed Back Like A Champ by Megan Bruneau. This was a good article emphasizing that the feeling to negative feedback are natural, but it's the reactions to the feedback that needs to be kept in check. No one enjoys hearing that they have made a mistake somewhere or that their work wasn't quite good enough, but it's essential for personal growth.
Megan made a number of points that stood out to me. The first is to realize that having something to work on means you haven't maxed out your potential. This can be comforting if taken in a positive manner. She also makes the point of "state" vs "trait" where we will receive negative feedback about a certain instance and then turn that into a negative trait about ourselves. Understanding that these are not the same things could alleviate a lot of self-doubt and possibly make it easier to grow in that area.
When I was learning to be an instructor in the Marine Corps, I was required to teach the same class to my peers two to three times a day. They would give me feedback on the things that I was doing right, what I was doing wrong, and how I could get better. Naturally, the first few days were very heavy on things I was doing wrong and how I could do it better. It was pretty brutal at first, but the more I practiced and the more I applied the feedback given to me, the less negative feedback I received. Without that experience, as unpleasant as it was, I would not have accomplished something that I really wanted to do.
Feedback: The Perfect Gift
Image Author: Senior Master Sgt. Mary-Dale Amison
Image Source: Air National Guard
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